Day Five - slight breakdown

After remarking yesterday about my family's support regarding my dietary choices, I realize I may have been too hasty.

Though yesterday was technically Thanksgiving, none of the food was ready yet. So we had Thanksgiving today, and once it was cooked, my mother asked me whether I was going to have anything. I said no. Food was had. Afterwards, as I was cleaning, she told me not to, since I hadn't had anything anyway.

I told her it felt good to contribute to Thanksgiving by preparing and cleaning up; since I couldn't share the food itself, it kept me feeling like part of the holiday. (All true, by the way.)

So she said she didn't like me "eating like that" and doesn't think it's healthy.

I left and went for a walk.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by her statement. My eating habits over the years, from vegetarianism to veganism to eating disorders, never sat well with her. Obviously I can understand her point of view, and of course, agree with her on the latter.

However, she is definitely of the mindset that if I'm not consuming the Standard American Diet, something's wrong with me.

I guess I just felt offended. I feel great - better than I have in years. Honestly, I was expecting some... recognition? Accolades? I wanted her to agree with me that I feel better than I have in years.

Which is kind of silly. She can't know how I feel. But right now, I have to focus on a healthy recovery - not defending my food choices to my family. I promised myself that I would listen to my body and honor it best I can, and that's what I'm going to continue to do. Maybe over time, my mother will realize that it's working for me, and that just because she doesn't understand it, doesn't mean it's wrong.